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Free Series

The Brothers Gunther are set on wooing you. To this end we are offering sheer, unadulterated examples of writing prowess, available as free downloads. We do this because it makes us happy, primarily in our pants. This is important.

Send free series submissions to: info@legumeman.com. Please read submission guidelines first.

The Contest

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Santa
Scott Tyson

Dear Santa,

This Christmas, more than anything else, I want a morsel of free fiction... preferably free fiction that will make me feel a bit yucky. I've heard of this Australian horror author called Scott Tyson who might have just the thing. He has a novel coming out in 2013 from LegumeMan Books called 'Topsiders' that I hear is pretty damn good, but before I read that, could you pretty pretty PLEASE give me some of his work for free? If it's not too much trouble, I would like a story that was originally published in Festive Fear 2 by Tasmaniac Publications. For some reason that detail is very important. If you give me this ONE thing, I promise to be good all year. If you don't, I'll fuck your eye socket.

Thanks Santa.
From Bobby Walker.

Download Dear Santa as a PDF here as a .mobi here or as an .epub here.

About the author:

Scott Tyson is a new voice in the field of Australian horror. His first novella, Topsiders will be coming from LegumeMan Books in 2013. In the interim you can read his musings at his blog: http://urbanhorror.blogspot.com.au/

He wishes you all a very merry Christmas.

 

The Contest

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sweet Sweets Emporium
Madeleine Swann

The Sweet Sweets Emporium is a cornucopia of confectionery delight, with sugary treats to fulfill even the most demanding sweet tooth. But one sweet reigns supreme... one sweet offers a little more than the rest. The 'Flying Carpets' won't just satisfy your sugar lust - they'll also take you to any point in history you wish to go. Just be careful of the Nazis... and let's hope the world as we know it doesn't start to fall apart.

Download Sweet Sweets Emporium as a PDF here as a .mobi here or as an .epub here.

About the author:

Madeleine Swann has had articles published by magazines including Bizarre, ranging in subject from church restorations to toe wrestling championships. 

She writes and performs as part of comedy group Braintree Ways, is published in ‘The Big Book of Bizarro’ and forbiddenfiction.com.


Web address: http://madeleineswann.wordpress.com/

 

The Contest

 

 

 

 

 

The Contest
R. Frederick Hamilton

In a world where your existence is of little importance, what would you do to get noticed? Would you tear yourself apart in order to attract the adulation of internet gore junkies? Have you ever been so desperate for attention that you'd do anything?

R. Frederick Hamilton, author of 'Spare Key' and 'Should Have Killed the Kid' provides more proof that he is one of Australia's darkest writers with 'The Contest'.

Download The Contest here.

About the author:

R. Frederick Hamilton is a young up and comer. Find out more about him here

eating

 

 

 

 

 

2+2=5
Rick McQuiston

A simple maths equation turns out to be complete chaos. When Hugh Mahorn is informed by his students that 2+2 in fact equals 5 the world turns on its head and all Mr. Mahorn can do is hang on tight for the ride!

Download 2+2=5 here.

About the author:

I’m a forty-two year-old father of two who loves anything horror-related. To date, I’ve had over 200 publications, and recently finished editing an anthology
book of Michigan-based authors named “Michigan Madmen”. It is available on Lulu.com and Amazon. I’ve written four books of short stories and one book
of novellas, and am currently finishing up my first novel, a zombie tale titled “To See as a God Sees”. I’m also a guest author each year at Memphis Junior
High School.

 

 

eating

 

 

 

 

Eating
Edmund Colell

'Eating' asks the age old question of what you do when your beanie has been eating your head for a while and your only friend is a cancerous piece of rotting beef roast that talks through a puckering tumor.

Download Eating here.

About the author:

As a college student and workaholic from the United States’ pressure
cooker, Arizona, Edmund Colell is no stranger to heads being eaten.
His other short story found in Verbicide is one of the few things he
created which has not in turn tried to eat others. The same cannot be
promised of his upcoming work. Edmund can be found here.

 

 

 

Trust Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trust Me
Bryce Stevens

You never know the intentions of strangers, but you don't really care to know, do you? You squeeze onto packed trains, oblivious to the crush of humanity that surrounds you. You wouldn't think for a second that the stranger standing next to you plans to take your life. You blindly trust those you've never met. Should you give your trust so freely?

Download Trust Me here.

About the author:

Bryce Stevens creates horror and fantasy fiction and art, having had around forty stories published in Australia, New Zealand, Britain & America. He has been an editor, illustrator and book reviewer for horror magazines including Terror Australis and Bloodsongs and was for two years president of the original Australian Horror Writers. From 2006 through 2009 he completed large horror illustrations using his own blood with ink and wash. He brutalises the English language with novels and short fiction. He has a fantasy/horror novel 'The Malign Comedy' ready for submission to a publisher. Currently he lurks amid bushland on the NSW mid north coast of Australia.

More info on Bryce Stevens is available here.

 

 



 

 

 

Lion Man
J.S. Breukelaar

When Clint Eastwood, the Ridgeback dog rips off a child's hand, Turner takes Clint to his grandparent's farm to hide out. It's nice to get away from the problems of today and take refuge in the rose-coloured past. Sometimes it's nice to simply reminisce. But running away from your problems won't help you in the end. 

Download Lion Man here.

About the author:

J.S. Breukelaar’s work can be found or is forthcoming at Dogzplot, Retort Magazine, Australian SciFi, Weird Tales, Pisgah Review, Lies With Occasional Truth, Clarion and others. Her first novel, Blue Moves, is being sold in NYC. She blogs at www.thelivingsuitcase.com.au 



Bubba Wants YOU

 

 

 

 

 

Bubba Wants YOU
By G.N Braun

Revenge has never tasted so sweet (and slightly putrid). From the same G.N Braun who brought you "Boneyard Smack" comes this (admittedly revolting) tale. Strap yourself in for a bloody bout of comeuppance courtesy of the diabolical anti-hero, Bubba.

Download Bubba Wants YOU here.

About the author:

GNBraun was raised in Melbourne’s gritty Western Suburbs and is a trained nurse currently studying to work in the social services. He writes fiction untied to any genre, and is the author of Boneyard Smack, Bubba wants YOU, Insurrection and Santa Akbar! Longer works are forthcoming, but he can only write so fast. Visit his blog and homepage at http://gnbraun.blogspot.com/ for free fiction and latest update

 

 

Ian

 

 

 

Ian
By Shane Jiraiya Cummings

What would you do if every man you'd ever met was called Ian?

Download Ian here.

About the author:

Shane Jiraiya Cummings is positioned at the centre of the web of Australian dark fiction. He is the Vice President of the Australian Horror Writers Association, Managing Editor of HorrorScope and Black: Australian Dark Culture Magazine, and winner of two Ditmar Awards. He has spun more than sixty tales that have found publication in Australia, North America, and Europe, many of which have been threaded together into his collection Shards (Brimstone Press). Shane's post-apocalyptic dark fantasy novella Phoenix and the Darkness of Wolves was published in the US in December 2009, and he is presently working on a series of Japanese fantasy novels.

Shane can be found here.


 

 

 

 

 

 

mOsbURAnd
By Ray Fracalossy

Leopold receives a telegram in a dream, informing him that his son is dead. With the arrival of this most unfortunate news, Leopold, ignoring claims that he has no son, sets of on an adventure to find him and say goodbye.

What follows is an absurdist, three-part melodrama, so nonsensical that it actually makes perfect sense. If you've read Ray's brilliant, Tales From the Vinegar Wasteland, you should most certainly read this. If you haven't read either - do so. Absurdism of the highest order.

This story was originally published by Magic Helicopter Press.

Download mOsbURAnd here.

About the author:

Ray Fracalossy is an absurdist writer from New Jersey. His debut novel, Tales from the Vinegar Wasteland, was published by Afterbirth Books in 2006. His work has also appeared in The Bizarro Starter Kit: Blue (Eraserhead Press), The Flash (Social Disease), and Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens, as well as numerous online sites. He can be contacted at rayfracalossy@yahoo.com

 

 

 

 

 

Boneyard Smack
By G. N. Braun

The heroin-addled streets, populated by junkies just looking to score. It pays to be careful about what you're pumping into your veins because you never know what you're going to get. But let's face it - if you're looking to score in a cemetery you kinda have to expect the worst. Boneyard Smack is a short, sharp story, covered in more grime than the cutlery at a one-star motel.

As an added bonus, this story is presented in a super grim, all black edition that peppers things rather nicely.

Download Boneyard Smack here.

About the author:

GNBraun was raised in Melbourne’s gritty Western Suburbs and is a trained nurse currently studying to work in the social services. He writes fiction untied to any genre, and is the author of Boneyard Smack, Bubba wants YOU, Insurrection and Santa Akbar! Longer works are forthcoming, but he can only write so fast. Visit his blog and homepage at http://gnbraun.blogspot.com/ for free fiction and latest updates.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itch
By Shane Jiraiya Cummings

It begins as an idle rub. A calloused palm. Friction and hair. A lingering heat like a Chinese burn... Scratching an itch can be like a bad high: the satisfaction comes at a price; the itch is appeased but the damage is done. Sometimes, scratching a persistent itch can make people go to bloody extremes and lead to nasty surprises.

Download Itch here.

About the author:

Shane Jiraiya Cummings is positioned at the centre of the web of Australian dark fiction. He is the Vice President of the Australian Horror Writers Association, Managing Editor of HorrorScope and Black: Australian Dark Culture Magazine, and winner of two Ditmar Awards. He has spun more than sixty tales that have found publication in Australia, North America, and Europe, many of which have been threaded together into his collection Shards (Brimstone Press). Shane's post-apocalyptic dark fantasy novella Phoenix and the Darkness of Wolves will be published in the US in December 2009, and he is presently working on a series of Japanese fantasy novels.

Shane can be found here.

Itch was originally published in 'Shards' by Brimstone Press in 2009.

The fantastic art for Itch (and everything else in Shards) was created by the very talented Andrew J. McKiernan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Grinning Idiot
By D. A. Jackson

With such a bleed-happy anus, Harry's the kind of guy who should have so many stories to tell - if only he could remember them. For Harry, it's nothing worth worrying about. Sure, he wakes up surrounded by the visceral smears of John's experiments but it puts money in his pocket, which puts cigarettes in his lungs and coffee in his gullet. Pretty sweet deal if you can get it.

Download The Grinning Idiot here.

About the author:

D. A. Jackson is a low budget filmmaker and comic writer based in Melbourne. His disgusting films and filthy comics rarely leave the arenas of horror or black comedy. Jackson is the editor and head writer for comic anthology Modern Gentlemen and recently co-directed Cannibal Suburbia, a horror feature film.

Visit D. A. Jackson here and here.

The fantastic artwork was created by Pierre Lloga.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Orange Crush
By Michael Dhillon


A no-hoper stumbles through his ephemeral life, never quite forgetting the whimsical nostalgia of his past. A bizarre series of events leads him on a path toward a change in outlook - even purpose. You could call Orange Crush a bizarre meditation on life, or a vaguely existential think piece, but neither description really does it justice. Just download and enjoy it.

Download Orange Crush here.

About the author:
Michael Dhillon's short stories have been published in the UK and
North America. His debut novel - The Cuckoo Parchment and the Dyke -
was published in 2009. He lives and works in London, UK.

Visit Michael here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Milk
By Andrew Gallacher

A man witnesses a horrific accident while driving on a freeway. When the even more horrific events leading up to the accident are revealed, a ripple effect takes place that sheds light on the latent absurdity and darkness that exists within human nature.

Download Milk here.

About the author:
Andrew Gallacher is an emerging writer and cartoonist from Melbourne, Australia. His work often deals with themes of sexual and mental entropy with a hint of horror and sometimes humour. He contributes comics to the Modern Gentlemen anthology and has also appeared in Beat Magazine, and held several art exhibitions around Melbourne. This is his first story published outside of the comic format.

To contact him email: gallacher2@optusnet.com.au

 

 

 

Hoffman's Creeper
By Trost

Professor Samuel Hoffman is a dedicated botanist and all around eccentric. His plants are his children and he'll protect his children at any cost.

Download Hoffman's Creeper here.

About the author:
TROST is an emerging writer from Brisbane who is dedicated to concocting disturbing tales that mix a strong dose of mystery with a hint of familiarity. His stories have been published in the Brimstone Press anthology Black Box, the Australian Horror Writers Association's Midnight Echo #2 and in various e-zines including The Beat, Shadeworks, Australian Reader and AntipodeanSF.

Visit http://trostlibrary.blogspot.com for the latest news.

 

Power Blink
By Matthew Revert (taken from A Million Versions of Right)

Welcome to a tale of excessive melodrama. A tale where a simple blink becomes so powerful that it can cause mild injury. Can a blink this devastating also be used for ultimate good? The answer to this question (and several more you didn’t ask) can be found within.

Taken from Matthew Revert's upcoming 'A Million Versions of Right', Power Blink is bound to make you consider the potential power of blinks.

Download Power Blink here.

More info on 'A Million Versions of Right' can be found here.
Matthew Revert can be found here and here.

 

 

The Birthday Present
By R. Frederick Hamilton

Vaughan is a lonely, socially inept anti-ladies man who wants only one thing in life – to make Rebecca happy. Having spent far too long watching Rebecca make poor relationship decisions, it’s time for Vaughan to step it up and express his love the only way he knows how.

From perpetual newcomer, R. Frederick Hamilton, comes a charming little tale that compliments his book 'Spare Key' very nicely indeed.

Download The Birthday Present here.

More info on 'Spare Key' can be found here.
R. Frederick Hamilton can be found here.

 

Other free material

Due to popular demand our improvised jam will remain.

 

 

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